Self Is

"Self is. Self is body and bodily perception. Self is thought, memory, belief. Self creates. Self destroys. Self shapes. Self adapts. Self invents its own reasons for being" - Parable of the Talents

Anyone who knows me personally knows I have a sweet and positive obsession with Octavia Butler. For those of you who don’t know, she’s basically the black matriarch in science fiction/ speculative fiction writings. The first work I read by her was Dawn. I fell in love.

My favorite work is the Parable series; which includes Parable of the Sower and Parable of the Talents. The quote I’ve opened this entry with is my favorite from the series. It has become a testament that explains my current perspective in regards to myself and the space I occupy in the universe.

“Self is”. We exist. We exist physically and metaphysically. Our perception of ourselves is based on “thought, memory, and belief.” We are shaped by our experiences in the world. What we remember and what we choose to forget or silence shapes us body and bodily. “Self creates. Self destroy. Self shapes. Self adapts. Self invents its own reason for being.” Self is constantly changing. Change is both progression and digression. These changes shape our being.

I am currently going through a progressive phase in my life, where I’ve begun to understand what self is and how self is shaped. In order for me, and for that matter anyone, to truly come to terms with themselves they need to understand and conceptualize their life experiences thus far (thought, memory, belief). This is my first quest: coming to terms with my past and understanding how it shapes what I’ve determined as my present and what I hope for my future. It’s a sankofa mentally at heart.

Ramble over.

-Peace  

Forgetting the “Veg” in Vegetarian

I’ve been a fish eating vegetarian all my life (pescatarian). Only in the last two months have I truly become a reformed vegetarian cutting out all sea food and embracing various vegetables in my diet.

Growing up I only liked two vegetables: spinach and broccoli. Everything else was out of the question. That left lots of space for junk foods. My lack of vegetables and over consumption of junky processed foods left my body nutrient depleted. I literally became a non-vegetable-eating vegetarian. Sounds crazy right?

I was a meatless, vegetableless, dairy loving vegetarian who was always fatigued, slightly over weight, and comforted by marshmallows. That equation didn’t add up to a healthy life style. I decided towards the end of spring this year that I was going to change. Climbing slowly, but surely, towards the 200 pound mark was enough for a wake up call.

I make a point to mention that I’m a broke college student often, and I’m going to say it again.

I’m a broke college student, from a lower middle class family who found that 76 cent bean burritos loved my wallet more than healthy foods did. My freezer was filled with red and green Morning Star, and Boca Burger boxes (more on that later). My pantry was filled with sweet treats that gave sugar rushes in the afternoon and crashes towards night. I had begun to sacrifice my health to save a buck or two.

This summer, besides getting dirty and sweaty at an archeology dig (more on that later), I made a major shift in my eating habits. I emptied out my pantry of sweets and discarded the remains of my Morning Star and Boca boxes. I ate fresh fruits, vegetables and cut back on everything with ingredients I couldn’t pronounce and artificial dyes.

I’ve got a long way to go, but I’m satisfied with my progress. Fresh herbs, spices, vegetables, and fruits have never tingled my senses the way they do now. I’m making strides towards veganism and these baby steps are helping me get there.

End of the year goals:

1) Buy only organic vegetables and fruits to avoid pesticides.

2) Experiment with different grains

3) Have fun with various teas and flavors

4) Stop eating cheese (Hardest one)

5) Invest in vegan and vegetarian cookbooks