A Love Affair

I am currently engaged in a love affair with Anthropology. Our relationship started in the summer of 2009 and I’ve been hooked ever since. It whispered in my ear sweet paradigms of thought that preached diversity and diffusion.  The first side it reviled to me drugged my insides with tales of culture and eroticized Others. I was in a haze. It knew this and took advantage of the situation. It grasped me by the hips and we started dancing in the dirt.

 Archaeology was… intriguing.

The dirt would kiss my hands and the objects would sing songs about people long past; people who were waiting to be heard and stories that were waiting to be told. Histories were waiting to be constructed, reconstructed, and deconstructed. We got dirty together and I liked it. And I loved that I liked it, because it brought me happiness.

However, happiness comes and goes.  When Anthropology began to divulge its past and creation to me my heart felt weak.  How could I love something that codifies otherness built on xenophobia and xenophobia’s friend, racism? It told me not worry. Told me that its past endorsement of colonial powers was gone. It lied. It still shows that ugly side every now and then, but I’ve told myself to only see the beauty. Only see the strength that dwells in its soul not the destruction it can cause.

Now, when we dance it isn’t as graceful. The lithe rhythms have been replaced with hard stances attempting to flow like water. I’m constantly questioning my love now and all it does is provide more questions instead of answers. The emotion felt isn’t happiness all the time, but it is stability. Our relationship is an  ebb and flow of knowledge, constantly changing yet is balanced.

The Next Step

“We do what we have to do so we can do what we want to do”

For the past two weeks between classes and experimenting with new cooking recipes I've watched The Great Debaters about ten times. I’ve watched it for the simple fact that it opens with the quote I placed above.

My peers and I are at a time in our lives when we are constantly being asked what we want to do after we graduate.  Yet many of us forget what we have to do in order to reach and achieve our goals. I am an Urban Flower Child and the world is too fast pace for me. Sometimes I lose sight of what I have to do because I’m too happy in the present and not focusing on the future. 

Recently in one of my classes a peer of mine asked me what my academic goals were. My answer was to be balanced and be at peace. Anthropology thus far has allowed me to do just that. Now as the fall term comes to an end I’m asked to look for the next step. Is the next step graduate school, the Peace Corps, or is it simply a break from it all for a year. I’m not sure, but for the last year I’ve pushed the question to the back of my mind mainly out of fear.

This fear was based on the fact that I simply didn’t know what Life has in store for me. People are always scared of the unknown; I am one of them. I’m working on countering that fear and so far my main solution has been to prepare myself; to do what I HAVE to do and always be prepared for Change.

I plan to graduate within the next year. Typing those words is terrifying, saying them out loud is even worse. Change has a funny way of creeping up on people. It hides clandestine on people’s journey through life. It masks itself in the form of chaos, shock, and destruction. But very often, like for me, it stands very visible in front of people.

Do what you have to do. Prepare for Change.

Peace

Ramble over…