Graduation Day

Two days ago I walked across a stage with a kente stole and three honors chords around my neck. It was a walk that signified the ending of my undergraduate career. It was a walk away from my undergraduate years and a walk towards the beginning of something new. This was a walk towards change and a well needed one. Vacations, internships, conferences, applications, and graduate school are just a few changes I have to look forward to; not to mention all changes coming my way I can't see

Known knowns

Known unknowns

Unknown knowns

Unknowns unknowns

The next day I packed the remainder of my apartment in three boxes and two suitcases and moved out of Gainesville. I headed towards the airport and boarded a plane to the start of the rest of my life...

It was weird. I didn't cry when I left. I didn't say many goodbyes. I didn't see the point. Why cry about change, it's bound to happen so just be open to it. I didn't say goodbye because I know I'll see my friends again, so it's not really "goodbye" more like  "I'll see you later".

To the new changes both good and bad, I'm open to them...

Give Thanks

I Give Thanks For:

Beauty,

Love,

Friendship,

Balance,

And of course

Sunflowers 

Just Jump…

Yesterday I had the opportunity to celebrate my friends 21^st birthday by skydiving. I’ve never felt more alive. There is something undoubtedly releasing about risking your life. I was scared, but I faced those fears and as my body went flying out of a plane 10,000 ft above ground I left all my worries and all my stress in the clouds.

Free Falling…

I saw the sunset yesterday from 10,000 ft in the air. I faced it with my arms open welcoming the sun for a embrace.

It was beauty.

....Just Dance

…I’d rather dance my way through life. I’d rather sway my hips to the waves of the ocean and stomp so hard I’d make earthquakes…I’d rather dance my way through life…than ever stand still in misery…

I've been busy...

I’ve been busy…

Too busy to post on my blogspot

Too busy to post on my tumblr

Too busy to call my family

Too busy to eat properly

Too busy to workout

Too busy to focus in class

Too busy to think about the future

…just busy

The last three months have literally passed by like a blur. I’m not sure when I got to this point; where I was no longer present in my day-to-day activities but this week I realized, and it frightened me. I’ve started packing…yes again. I’m moving. I’m graduating. I’m leaving Florida, the state I’ve called home for about ten years.

But back to me being busy…

I’m not sure what I’ve been doing. I can’t recall when the hours started the blend, the days started to melt away and when my weeks started flying pass me, but now they are gone and all that I’m left with is a countdown.

I use to love the countdown. I loved when it first started and it was 3 months, 90 plus days counting weekends. Then things got crazy and the countdown became an enemy that haunted me…7 days until the GRE…2 weeks until my conference presentation…20 days until my honors thesis is due…37 days until graduation.

37 days until everything changes…

Ramble over…I’ve got packing to do…

Packing: Boxes, Bins, and Suitcases

I wish I had bags like this!

I've always dreaded the act of packing. I think it has something to do with having to physically place my life in boxes. Those horrible cardboard boxes.

Some boxes get filled, while others don't. I start thinking that the empty space in those boxes are really just representations or reminders of what's somehow unfilled in my life. But then I argue with myself and say that maybe the space is what has yet to be filled so I should really just be excited. Then of course my senses actually set in and I tell myself that I probably shouldn't have stolen boxes that big from behind Publix.

Of course you have to be careful how you pack because you don't want the boxes and suitcases too heavy  to the point where you can't lift them. Here my mind wonders again. Do I have too many boxes, to much stuff for a 20 year old? Am I the equivalent of a bag lady?

I recently moved into my new apartment complex (the last one for the rest of my undergraduate career).  I started to sing the theme song from the movie Rent while inserting the fact that I measure my life in the boxes.

Another thing packing always seems to highlight is the releasing of what you don't need (unless of course you're a hoarder). By the end of my Rent singalong I had five large suitcases, a trunk, three boxes full of books, five reusable bags full of kitchen crap, and mounds of trash.

BUT the ordeal is over with! It's only another four months until I have to do it all over again....

Looks kind of clustered, I know.

This photo reminds me of my childhood I Spy books. There is so much going on!

I needed a bit more space, so the top shelf of my bookcase is a suitcase.

Check out my Nike running shoes.

My tea mat of the floor endured my trip back from Tanzania.

 Will work actually get done here? Only time can tell.

New read: Black Feminist Archaeology.

Ever tried kava root? It's amazing.

Afro Outdoors

Out on the lake  kayaking

With a heat wave running through this country my friends and I decided that it would be the perfect time for a outdoor fun in the sun day. Don't worry we had tons of water and sunscreen.

Lake+kayak+rock wall = sore body the next day
pictures below!

Reje is a little scared of nature sometimes,

 but when you're kayaking in a river with GATORS I guess its a valid reason.

my sweat crew before the rock wall climb.

from left to right: Tiff, me, and Carine

the dooms day rock wall!

practice makes perfect! Me climbing the the practice wall before strapping up

We KILLED that climb! I'll have to do a side that is a little more challenging next time.

My climb only took about ten minutes tops, but my legs were killing me after!

That's me to the right and Tiff on the left.

Reje at the end of the climb! 

I'll be sore tomorrow

Love: One Girl, Two Weddings

This past summer (although summer isn’t technically over yet) I attended two weddings. The first was my friend’s wedding in late June. She is my mentor and a woman who for the last three years has been my rock while in college. The second was my oldest Aunt's wedding in early July. She looked so stunning in her dress that it brought my cousin to tears.

Before those two weddings I had never attended a wedding in my entire life. Not only had I never attended a wedding but I was dreading going to both of them because I was skeptical about the concept of marriage and for that matter eternal love. Something changed. I would say that it might have been when my friend walked down the aisle with her shoulders back and her head held high to the man she was about to pledge her undying love to. Maybe it was when I saw my aunt jump the boom with my now uncle-in-law. I’m not sure, but something in me changed. I smiled and my eyes watered, because there at those weddings there stood a couple ready to spend a lifetime with each other. It was beauty. It was love. The feeling was something unlike anything I had ever been in the presence of or would even know how to conjure inside of myself.

Needless to say I love weddings now.

Here are a few pictures to share

My Aunt and Uncle during their first dance

my cousin Bry and I during the rehearsal dinner the night before the big day

 The triple threat!

My breathtaking baby younger cousin 

 My best friend and I at the wedding

The beautiful bride and I 

Friends

Tanzania A Month Ago...

am I on top of the world?

There is something gratifying about having touched the soil on the continent of Africa for an African American student.  Few get to experience the emotion of having landed and being grounded on a landscape covered with histories told and those still waiting to be uncovered.  This past summer I boarded a plane to Tanzania for a study abroad program that focused on the historic preservation of one of the earliest iron foraging sites in the world located in the city of Bukoba.  The goal of the project was to enhance community empowerment through cultural heritage management.  With trowels, compasses, and notebook paper, my peers and I were archaeologists, historians, and ethnographers for six weeks.  We literally uncovered the history of a people, layer by stratigraphic layer, so that the village of Katuruka could construct a museum to include in their already established tour that brings about economic empowerment and historic preservation. 

It has taken me forever to try to put into words my experience in Tanzania. Even now, a month later, I can only muster up a paragraph. I thought instead of writing a essay, I'd write a list of the words that describe my experience.

1. Love
2. Beauty
3. Home

-peace

Tanzania is a GO!!!!

Excitement!

less then five hours ago I purchased my ticket to Tanzania! I will be spending six weeks doing an archaeological  field school through my University. I am beyond excited. As I mentioned before I love archaeology, so when I was presented with the opportunity to work abroad I jumped at the opportunity. For my family and friends who would like to help finance my trip you can contribute below by clicking on the donate button. I also have a list of items I have still yet to purchase.

Thanks to all who made this possible.

What I still need:

• light weight backpack for field equipment
• personal first aid kit
• Benedryl
• travel pillow
• hiking boots
• sneakers
• pocket nife
• protective hat
• reading book lamp
• adapters for electrical outlets
• anything else you can think of let me know?

Good Reads!

When you read a good blog post that naturally brings a smile to your face then it is necessary   that you share it. The blog post below from TheFreshXpress is one such post. It was a great read to go over as I ate my pita bread stuffed with roasted bell peppers and tempeh last night.

And exert is below, but you gotta (yes gotta) read the whole post for the full effect.

“The very nature of a black man is to love a black woman. I’ve come to realize it after that experience. He can love any woman, but not to the degree he can love a black woman. I state this with no reservation and remorse for those it might offend. For that brief moment I loved her hair, because it was the very hair that grew out of my own head. I loved her skin, because it was the same skin that covered my flesh. I saw her as the mother of my children, because I knew when I looked at their faces I wouldn’t be able to see my half or hers. I would only see us. At that moment I loved myself more because I was looking at everything that makes me amazing. I could never love a woman of another race that way”

What Can We Do But Watch?

Complacency runs rampant by youth in America, me included.  I believe that instead of standing against inequality my generation is complacent with it and furthermore I believe many of us are desensitized to the role inequality has globally, nationally, locally, and individually. My generation has so many various media outlets, that the inequality happening throughout the world is constantly being forced down our throats. As result the destruction has become the everyday; as if it is something that cannot be changed or stopped. So when a man sets himself on fire in Libya and groups of people are arrested for treason in Zimbabwe for meeting up to watch videos of the revolution occurring in Egypt it does something worse than fall on deaf ears; it falls on ears that do not believe they can change the situation. These events fall on the ears of complacent people who believe that the way the world works is the only world there is and anything outside of that is irrational.

So what can we do but watch as the Middle East and the continent of Africa are being swept over (or is a cleansing effect) by a sea of revolutionaries. People demanding for a change far beyond that of what Obama preached during his campaign. I read the newspaper and tack online news sources of the events shaping our world and I wonder if the stand against oppression can reach its hands across the ocean and hit the shores of the US.

Ramble over… 

Me and Nikki Giovanni

Me and Nikki Giovanni! Can you tell that I'm overly excited? 

My smile is so wide it's borderline creepy.

I was among many fellow Gators last Thursday listening to Nikki Giovanni speak her mind and read her poetry. Knowledge spilled from this women's mouth like air and the audience couldn't get enough. A good friend of mine hooked me up with some tickets to a mini dinner they hosted for Dr. Giovanni before the lecture. I was able to snagged a picture with a friend's camera because I came totally unprepared. My hands were shaking as I awkwardly smiled with her. I was also able to get two books signed!! One for my loving mother and one for keeps!

Three points I took away from her lecture:

1) If anyone ever wants to learn how to keep their humanity under extreme cultural extermination they need to first look at the African Diaspora.

2) Language is power. Know the origins of the language you speak, be sure you are never just reiterating colonial domination and subjugation. 

3) Mean what you say. At all times take ownership of your words.

Conference Experience at SHA

Earlier this month I attended my first archaeology conference, Society for Historical Archaeology (SHA). It was a learning experience to say the least and an extravaganza that only Austin could provide to say the most. My biggest concern at first was the cost. The flight there and back, the hotel, and food was enough to empty my pockets till finical aid came in. As it turns out, flying into Austin is costly and staying at the hotel where the conference takes place equates to hemorrhaging money from my wallet. I will not be making that mistake again. The amount of money it cost for food alone was about 40 dollars a day. Mainly because my advisor wanted to take us out to dinner and give us a true Austin experience. The cost needless to say was well worth it. I will forever remember the treats that only Austin could provide.

Side Note: Ken’s Donuts are the best in the world. Well at least my world.

My main academic focus is on African Diaspora Studies with an archaeological lens. I mainly attended presentations that revolved around that focus. The knowledge gained overshadowed the long flights and busy airports.

Let’s clear something up. I’m a woman. I’m a Black woman. I was one of under 20 (that I saw) Black people at the conference. To my knowledge I was the only Black undergraduate. Imagine my new found friends shock when they discovered I wouldn’t be attending the Pub Crawl event with them because I wasn’t of age. The fact that there weren’t many Black people at the conference wasn’t shocking, nor should it be because it’s a reflection of the amount of Black female archaeologist in the actual field. There are few of us.

I speak mainly about the paper presentations as a student new to this field, the literature and the knowledge it produces. I’m hungry for knowledge at all times; luckily the conference filled and pleased my appetite.  A lot of the discussions and paper presentations on plantation and African Diaspora archaeological sites focused on minute details that didn’t translate into the production of new knowledge or engaged in the political implications of their work.

However overall I’m satisfied! For my first conference it was everything I expected and so much more. I made contacts and friends that I intend to keep in touch with and hopefully work with one day.

Peace

Me a Fashionista?

One of my good friends Ju'lia (yes with an apostrophe) once told me that I had a unique sense of style. Needless to say I still don't believe her. She has asked me to post something related to fashion so here's my piece. I recently bought a jacket from Goodwill, here in Gainesville that stole my heart. At 8 bucks it stole my wallet's heart too! I already had a pair of crazy heels and a mini dress to match it perfectly. I haven't worn it out yet, but when I do look out! Check out Ju'lia's  blog, she's pretty amazing. 

The jacket and the crazy heels. I ordinary don't wear heels, in fact I try my hardest to avoid them, yet here they are in my closet. 

 dress + jacket = ?????

blurry picture + messy room = horrible picture

models don't smile right?

Last picture! caption should read: "Look to side and try your best to be cool"

Be A Wildflower!

This is my song of the week. It will be on replay for the next 24 hours!!!! I play this song every time I run at the gym. I'll post my gym playlist one of these days; however it changes every month.

BTW did I mention that I finished my first 5K last weekend in 33 minutes. For my first time I'm pretty excited and satisfied. The gym for the last few weeks has been packed to the brim with folks who seem to have all subscribed to the same new years resolution to lose weight and be healthy. For the most part I'm annoyed, but on the other hand I'm happy so many people are attempting to be healthy this year! I hope they keep it up and stay strong! February is revenge of the new year resolution month, so beware.

Remember When We Use To Speak Kiswahili

Remember When We Use To Speak Kiswahili

At the end of April I’ll be boarding a plan to a new and interesting world, where knowledge flows through the air. There will be mist on mountain tops and people with sunkissed skin tones . My excitement to spend my summer in Tanzania cannot be matched.

To prepare I’ve hassled three good friends to teach me Kiswahili. I have never been more enchanted by a language in my life. The way it rolls off the tongue is poetry. I’ll keep you all posted on my progress.

The great thing about learning a language in 2011 are the free resources online. Between downloading (legally of course) different language software, youtube videos, and language sites, I haven’t spent a dime. I would strongly suggest everyone surf the web for free resources before you cough up 200 plus dollars for any language software.

As for Kiswahili check out the links below:

http://mwanasimba.online.fr/E_TABLE.htm

http://www.kamusiproject.org/grammar

http://complit.la.psu.edu/swahili/archive/audio.html

Till then, Kwa heri 

Gotta Get Up!

We all gotta get up at some point. Tomorrow will, for me, be the first day back to classes and work. After the holiday break and my archaeology conference (more on that later) I really don’t wanna get outta bed. Jill Scott’s song will be on reply throughout the day to keep me motivated. 

Making Time For Yourself

Many of my friends ask me how I find the time to exercise 4-5 times a week, work part-time, and still take 15 credits without losing my mind. To be honest, at first it was hard. I use to always skip breakfast, buy fast food on campus and never exercise. I still slip some days ad fall back to old habits. I use to say that I never had the time to do any of those things. I drilled in my head that I never had the time to make my breakfast, make it to the gym or pack meals when I was on campus till 10 at night. If there is one thing college students never seem to have enough of its time.

Now the one thing I always make time for is myself. And that means taking my health seriously. Getting to this point was difficult. It didn’t happen overnight and I’m still growing and still working out my kinks.

The main thing I had to change was my mindset. Instead of saying I never had time for this or that I trained myself to instead say that I wasn’t making time for myself. By doing so, it made not eating breakfast or not exercising irrational, because it made me confront these self destructive behaviors. This also forced me to reprioritize my time so that my health and wellbeing were not being sacrificed. Nothing but my family comes before my wellbeing. My time is now centered on my family, wellbeing, work, and studying. Things outside of those four categories, as a friend of mine once said to me, will fall where they can.  

As Spring semester begins it is time to get back in school mode. The holiday cheer will linger but the days off won’t. Even with classes, work, and an internship I still make time for myself and the gym. I pack my lunch the night before, put aside the fruit I’ll have for breakfast and have my workout pack filled with gym clothes ready if I won’t have time to get home and change before hitting the gym. I make time for what’s important me.

Task: Make a list of everything you’re currently dedicating your time to. Be honest.

Question: How much time have you set aside for wellbeing?

Same You New Mindset For 2011

When I ask my friends what they want out of 2011 most read off a list they have entitled “New Year Resolutions.” Many times the first thing listed is a new version of themselves; which includes losing anywhere between 10 and 20 pounds. This troubles me. And all the commercials beckoning for weight loss and a ‘newer you for 2011’ are to blame. There is nothing wrong with You. I am the same person I was in 2009 and I intend to be the same ol’ Ayana in 2011. My being has remained the same but my mindset like the world around me in constantly changing. I think instead of stressing over becoming a new person for 2011 people should focus on a new mindset. By doing so people can begin to recognize that losing 20 pounds won’t equate to happiness, but finding balance and peace will. Those can only be achieved with a new mindset. So let’s get started.

Happy New Year

Enjoy January 1st.

Another sunrise. Another new day.

song: Amel Larrieux - I Like The Sunrise